For Friends and Family

Behind the Enemy Lines: 28C3: Technical vs Social

BecHa — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:07:00 GMT

For my technically-minded friends, here are links and notes to the significant presentations and workshops I attended at CCC, December 2011. More social aspects of the whole experience are in my other post .

Alternative networks

Just after the midnight between the Days 1 & 2 was the workshop on Free Network Architectures , which for now means Mash Networks, GNUnet, and other forms of "darknet" (there's a good article about it here. The best thing was to see all the people involved in these activities; main point was that these kind of networks require users that are not feeling like consumers, but users that are participants, and take responsibility for their own "node" in the network. Follow-up: two events were announced: Wireless BattleMash in Athens, in March, and "International Summit for Community Wireless Networks" in Barcelona in September. (links?). Theory: Autonomous_Internet_Road_Map

The biggest "mainstream" talk on alternative networks was, of course, about Tor, by Jacob Apelbaum & Roger. They got a standing ovation, for saying things like "We have lived the entire course of human history without total surveillance state - we don't need one now". It was impressive, provocative & engaging. ( description& video: "How governments have tried to block Tor").

Applied security

Next best thing was p2p-sec workshop, on securing BGP in decentralized way. There were 10 of us, some people from TechInc, and some newcomers, from the Free Networks "movement". There was a momentum to continue cooperation, but now, after a month, I see that the progress is slow. In the meantime, the new IETF list was created: "therightkey".

Very important for me was also the talk by Peter Eckersley from EFF on " Sovereign Keys: A proposal for fixing attacks on CAs and DNSSEC" description& the video. After his talk I tried to make him interested in applying his theoretical solution to BGP, and if I'm lucky he will :) (his suggestions are already discussed on "therightkey" anyway...)

I also went to "CAcert" workshop, since with RPKI we (NCC) will become a CA, so I asked the workshop leader to take part in the RIPE lists & other community efforts to make sure we do not repeat their already known mistakes.

Measurements

I did pay attention also to topics related to my actual job: measurements of Internet performance & data visualization. One of the relevant talks was from Ruben & Chris: Choke Point Project. I have invited them to take part in RIPE community, we'll see what develops from that.

I also found very interesting the NOC report by Will & Kai (also from the RIPE community & HXX community) (see video. They showed the Network Monitoring tool with a SUPER COOL Dashboard!! (code from GitHub). They also mentioned ring.nlnog.net; icinga, that uses IRC alarms; & via Sylvan I've met Stefan from Tranalyzer project (flow based traffic analyzer).

Talks I've Missed but I wish I saw

Evgeny Morozov - Marriage from Hell , Building a Distributed Satellite Ground Station Network And also: Social Swarm , Counterlobying EU institutions, Your Disaster/Crisis/Revolution just got Pwned (Telecomix and Geeks without Bounds on Security and Crisis Response)
I wish I did not go to see Dan Kaminski , since he gave the same talk as on the summer CCC; however, his Net Neutrality Rooter (Nooter) is still interesting as a concept. Any "Running Code"?

For everything else that I've missed, here is a brilliant alternative overview: reluctant blogger: 5 small articles, hilarious and very to the point, by Dmytri Kleiner, Venture Communist from telekommunisten.net.

Selected quotes:

"You can not claim that you got your user's informed consent if you lie to them", Jakob (so poly! :)))
"We choose the world that we live in. We must reject "lawful interception" and surveillance ! " Jakob:
Poster/picture: "[Lolcat] I can has Freedom? TorProject.org"
"When we moved from infinitely terrible to infinitely terrible minus a little bit: that's progress", Wes Fabler (Hell Yeah, It is Rocket Science)
"Does Hacktivism Matter?" (Nothing Really Matress ;-) )
"Canadians are relatively mild", RedBeard in the talk about Dragnets
"We live in the world in which we make mistakes or misjudge the consequences... ", Cory Doctorow

I like to think that "we choose the world that we live in", and that events like CCC are contributing to this realization, and making it possible to add my bit to the building the world where I choose to live in.

Behind the Enemy Lines: 28C3: Social vs Technical

BecHa — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:39:00 GMT

On 31st December I arrived back from Berlin, where I attended for the second time this year a CCC event: Chaos Computer Club hackers conference (first one being on the camping-site a.k.a. defunct East-German airport cum open-air museum, last summer). Altho I was on all (but one) summer events since '99, Dutch & German, this was my first time on the winter "congress": the timing between Xmas & New Year is almost always inconvenient, but this year it was well worth all the effort!

Getting there

Preparations started in September: I submitted two proposals for talks, together with CK; I had to make very good arrangements about children, since they were to be on school holidays, and there was Xmas to consider, which I was planning to spend in Madrid. And then booking the vacation days, looking for accommodation... In the meantime, my presentations/talks were refused, in-spite all the "connections" I've pulled, and in-spite all the hard work me and my co-author put into polishing our proposal! Regardless, I booked the flight, scheduled one day after coming back from Madrid, and returning to A'dam just in time for NYE, that I wanted to spend with my children.
The hunt for the entrance tickets was exciting and long, I only got mine "with a little help from my friend" Miguel from CCC.ch, but afterwards had one or two extra tickets offered, and distributed from friends-of-friends to my friends... (which ties nicely to the F2F economy topic! I love it!). The accommodation also worked out fine: after asking everyone I knew in Berlin, it was a friend from hackerspace A'dam who offered to share his room with me, which I was very happy to accept!

My goals for the congress were: to follow all the lectures, to meet all the people and to do some work on the side too! Well, that did not happen. What I did achieve in the end was to go to just a few lectures and workshops, talk a little bit to many people and a lot with a few, not get enough rest and have HUGE amounts of fun and new ideas! I did no work, except for collecting some contacts and case-studies about measurements applications -- but I did promote Technologia Incognita, our new yet-to-be-open hackerspace in Amsterdam!

I will list all the technical details of technical talks in another post, and link it here.

Highlights of talks with stress on social aspects

1) Absolutely first place goes to "History of Plutocracy" ( description, video) and the subsequent workshop on Friend2friend economy, and the "end of money". I was impressed with the topic, the summary of human civilization in 20 minutes, and the ideas on how to make the move to the better system and better world. Complete utopia - just the way I like it ;-) (one example is described in "Dispossessed", a book by Ursula LeGuin that I adore). And of course, Robin is my new guru ;-)

The whole concept is based on the belief that human nature is more altruistic then greedy, and that we can build a new value system based on reputation, exchange of favors, community, "global village" due to all of us being connected via Internet, cooperation as opposed to competition, and that we all can describe our own currency and/or use "time" as one of the measurements of the value of the "favor". The computer-part of the system would have to be based on decentralization, openness, peer-to-peer architectures... Of course, there are many challenges, the least of them building technical system to support this idea! Still, if you are intrigued, join Robin and us on altruists.org

2) Very interesting and relevant for me (as a Dutch-women) was a presentation by Brenno de Winter, investigative journalist in IT, ICT, and technology in general, in Holland ( description). He talked about his own hack of OV-chipcard (Dutch public transport system RFID card), revealing one-leak-a-day in October (LeakTober), and SSL fiasco: Diginotar, Gemnet, and consequences (go to 17' 30" on the Video).

3) And, of course, Cory Doctorow. Relevant, visionary, critical, well delivered, worth every minute of your time to watch it - or read it: transcript, blog post or video.

Relaxation

There was a sauna in the hotel: very relaxing, even if it is quite a small one and only of the Nordic type. It was free for hotel guests, and that's how I started the Day 2 (and solved part of the problem of showering in the shared room with transparent bathroom doors ;-)

Food was excellent: we mostly ate Japanese and Vietnamese, apart from me having frequent surges of wurst-crave ;-) I tried the "bubble-tea" for the first time (thanks, A, for introducing me to it)! And of course, "monh-kuchen"... every day... and some to bring home...

We rounded up the whole experience by visiting Liquidrom on the last day (with HfH & Tor crowd). It was very energising, relaxing, inspiring and exciting! Apart from regular saunas, steam rooms and outdoor hot tub, there was an amazing darkened dome with a warm swimming pool, with salty water and floating devices to help you ... float. AND underwater music!!! Surprising and sensual - for all the senses! Perfect ending for the perfect event!

Rest In Peace, my baby that would never be a big girl

BecHa — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:03:00 GMT

Olivia would have been 4 years old today. She would have been starting with school this week. Time flies. Time heals. But I still cry when I think of her in these moments: when I imagine that I would bring three kids to school this morning, and not two; when Alisa and Charlie make drawings of her and for her.

I am grateful for having Olivia in my life, in our lives: as a memory, as a presence, as a lesson, as a reminder: life is short. Live it. Love it.

She taught me that death is part of life.

She taught me that pain is real, missing hurts, sadness exists - and they are all bearable. These feelings are here to deal with them, to go through them, and to get over them. Stronger. And able to enjoy again: life. Passionately! Love. Pleasures. Joys.

She taught me to be strong. When I get stuck, I think: I have survived losing my baby, I can deal with anything! And I think: what would that Vesna do, Vesna that made all those promises to live fully and love honestly and be brave...... And I still make mistakes, and I still need to re-learn the same lesson over and over again, but there is progress, there is happiness and bliss, there is ecstasy and peace. Sometimes ;-)

I am grateful to my loved ones, who helped me through these years: I am always with you, in love and in pain. Thank you for sharing, for tears and for laughs, for body and for soul. You are always in my heart. You know who you are.

Discover and worship the guru within! (Kumare)

BecHa — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 02:57:00 GMT

Kumare, Kumare, Kumaaaaareeee...

I just saw the most amazing documentary film ever (@ IDFA - thanks, Antony!) : Kumare ( www.kumaremovie.com)

It is a story about a guru who is trying to teach his followers that they do not need a guru. Paradox and contradiction - the basis of all the truth ;-) It is not a new idea, but the movie represents it in a original, powerful yet funny way. At the same time, it is controversial - how can he teach the truth through false methods - lies and deception? The irony of it makes it even more interesting.

The conclusions were: proven the initial premises that:

people do need to follow $guru (messiah / teacher / master)
people are gullible and naive
people are also strong and resourceful and indeed have a guru within that they can rely on for personal development and even enlightenment

I saw the director, Vikram Gandhi. He was answering questions. He is way cool! I do want him to be my guru ;-)

And another funny fact: he calls his most popular meditation "Bluelight meditation" -- just like the fictional/educational LIR that we invented 6 years ago :)

Life imitates art

The story of false or authentic "guru" has been described in many many forms already, and is one of my favorite topics (since I am a Natural Born Groupie).

Most of my examples are books; but I will start this list with the movie it reminds me the most of: Life of Brian:

BRIAN: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!
GIRL: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
BRIAN: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
FOLLOWERS: He is! He is the Messiah!
BRIAN: Now, fuck off!

BRIAN: Look. You've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. 
You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!
FOLLOWERS: Yes, we're all individuals!
BRIAN: You're all different!
FOLLOWERS: Yes, we are all different!
DENNIS: I'm not.
ARTHUR: Shhhh.
FOLLOWERS: Shh. Shhhh. Shhh.
BRIAN: You've all got to work it out for yourselves!
FOLLOWERS: Yes! We've got to work it out for ourselves!
BRIAN: Exactly!
FOLLOWERS: Tell us more!

The books:

llusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah is a novel by Richard Bach. One of my favorite books ever...
"S.", by John Updike, a novel about Sarah Worth as she leaves her husband and suburban life behind to join her guru, a Hindu religious leader known as Arhat, at his Arizona-based ashram. And it so happens that the guru is a "fake".. for some definition of "fake", if there is a "real" guru in each one of us...
If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him! The pilgrimage of psychotherapy patients
The Buddha of Suburbia (1990), written by Hanif Kureishi,

Stripping the Gurus Sex, Violence, Abuse and Enlightenment* by Geoffrey D. Falk
And, of course, the basis of them all: Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
"experience is shown as the best way to approach understanding of reality and attain enlightenment"

Natural Born Groupie

I like this topic because I identify with this search for meaning in following another person, althou I may thank my strong constitution for not ending up in any real "cult" (yet). I do have a tendency to adore idols and follow examples: only in the last few months I have found two new (personal) "gurus" , and rekindled my follow-ship of three already established (let's not call them old) gurus. Luckily for me, they are all kind to their disciples, and do not try to brainwash me or abuse their power. They are maybe even not aware of having disciples ;-) Only unaware Messiah is the the true Messiah ;-)

(quote from the HHGTTG: "To summarize : it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.")

A movie that illustrates the groupie phenomenon: Almost Famous

And a real-life story of the corrupt guru, as heard from trusted friends from "Yoga in Daily Life", aka Swamiji. A warning: he is NOT as authentic and innocent as the Wikipedia article claims. There is a contraversy about him, which is not reflected in Wikipedia article. Yet another proof that it is healthy to maintain skepticism about the "truth" from any other source then *within*.

Conclusion: embrace the guru within! :)

(and go see the movie if you can; and read all the books mentioned above ;-)

Spas & saunas in Amsterdam

BecHa — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 18:44:00 GMT

I love the phenomenon of a "spa"!

I feel at my best when I'm in the water, and the most perfect experience I had was in the "hot springs" near San Francisco: warm water coming out of the depth of Earth, at the edge of the Ocean, and the hot and cold waters mixing in the caves and on the rocks, accessible only during the hours of low tide...

But, in the absence of that, a "spa" is the closest approximation: a combination of heat and water, dry sauna and steam-room; thermal pools; water-massage jets and jakuzzies... then cooling down in the cold air, cold pool or snow, and then starting with the same process all over again...

It has health benefits, for sure, but the more important effects are on my mood and my emotions: I get all relaxed - but alert; melted - but energized; open and friendly, seeing good and positive sides of life, and in general very pleased with the world.

For 12 years I have been exploring spas in Amsterdam, and this is my selection. Luckily, there are still many "new" ones, that I am looking forward to discover!

(I will not list sport schools & hotels that have a sauna or a spa... there are many. Here is the portal about sauna's, also outside of the "city", with photos & reviews (in Dutch): www.jouwsaunagids.nl

Modest places

saunafenomeen.nl, Eerste Schinkelstraat 14-16, 1075 TX, Amsterdam , 020 6716780

In the first, honorable place is the ultimate hippie sauna, part of the whole counter-culture squat: Sauna Fenomeen! Run down but with lot of character, small and creatively decorated, alternative in the best sense: organic teas & food, exotic smells and New-Age atmosphere... with a small courtyard outside.
But, they have been threatening / threatened to close for years now -- if they are still open , it is for a few more weeks only, and a last chance to see!

wellness1926.nl/, Halmaheirastraat 28, Amsterdam 020 7749180

This is my last "find", a charming, small place in the Oost (East): Wellness 1926. Very modestly equipped, yet complete with everything you need, and extras: cosy second floor for relaxing, in the living-room atmosphere, comfy & friendly. The outside yard looks out to the church next door ;-)

saunadacosta.nl, da Costakade 200. Amsterdam 020-6125946.

Special kind of "spa" is a local "bath-house": Sauna Da Costa. Very unpretentious, small, very basic, for the quick and almost spartan experience. I like the down-to-earth approach, no frills. I haven't been there for almost 10 years, thou, so maybe my memories are not so accurate any more.

Thermen ROMANA , Dorpsstraat 104 - 1182 JH Amstelveen, 020 - 643 80 88

The "classiest" of modest spas (although the interior is a bit cheesy, like in certain movies form the 80's ;-) ) - slightly bigger and with few things attached: restaurant, hair-dresses & beautician.. but still accessible and not intimidating: Thermen Romana, in Amstelveen. Outstanding features: a swimming pool! - not very large, but other smaller spa's don't have it; and the best infra-red cabin I have tried so far! It is really curing sore muscles & bone aches ;-)

Posh places

www.saunadeco.nl, 115 Herengracht, 020 623 8215

Sauna Deco is very central, and very pretty! It has a unique Art-Deco interior, and is very well maintained. It's a place for a special-occasion sauna visits :-)

zuveramsterdam.nl, Koenenkade 8 (Amsterdam Forest) , 020 301 07 10.

The newest, biggest, greatest of spas in Amsterdam: Zuiver, in Amsterdamsebos. It has 20 different saunas/pools/baths, inside and outside swimming pool & jakuzzi, restaurant, all kinds of extras (scrubbing salt being my favorite ;-) ... The price is appropriate to all of that, too. But, it is worth it! Plan to stay the whole day, bring friends, and enjoy it together!

New places

I haven't ben to the other few places that I just found the links in the Internet -- if anyone has a recommendation (or not) abut them, please let me know:

www.saunadekeizer.nl, Keizersgracht 124, Amsterdam 020 622 7504
Ups - gay sauna, only for men: www.thermos.nl
Sento (in Marnixbad), www.sento.nl, Marnixplein 1, 020 330 1444

In conclusion: spa experience is one of the most enjoyable things I like in this world. I am lucky to live in the city where they know how to appreciate a good sauna or a spa (which mostly means: naturistic).

Ocean, sea*

BecHa — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 22:00:00 GMT

((*) A tribute to Alesandro Baricco))
This year I am making a collection of the seas I was swimming in (& lakes & rivers), and one ocean.
In April I swam in the Mediterranean Sea, in Barcelona.
In Man & June I swam in the Nieuwe Meer, a river-lake in Amsterdam.
In July I swam in the Atlantic Ocean near Portugal, and in the Baltic Sea near Copenhagen - both for the first time in my life! (photos are forthcoming)
In August - tomorrow (as they say, insha'Allah) - I will be swimming in the Adriatic Sea near Pula, in Croatia.
Missing from my collection are the closest ones: North Sea and river Amstel. I am hoping to collect their waters on my skin in September.
Thank you, all the people who went to the beaches and seas and ocean with me! Let these waters always bring us together!

No surprises

BecHa — Sat, 01 May 2010 13:03:00 GMT

God, they choose such good music for House (M.D.)! Season 5 ended with "As Tears Go By" -- amazing! And least week we watched the first episode of the Season 6. Apart from being one of the most powerful episodes ever, it also stated and ended with this song: Radiohead, "No Surprises". Wow... A right song for me -- I hardly like unexpected, unplanned things. No Uncertainties. Unfortunately, reality teaches me the opposite every time... Thank you.

A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal.

You look so tired-unhappy,
bring down the government,
they don't, they don't speak for us.
I'll take a quiet life, a handshake 
of carbon monoxide,

with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
Silence, silence.

This is my final fit,
my final 
bellyache
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises please.

Such a pretty house
and such a pretty garden.

No alarms and no surprises (get me outta here),
no alarms and no surprises (get me outta here),
no alarms and no surprises, please.

Barcelona and other delightful NCC things!

BecHa — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:36:00 GMT

I just got back from Barcelona -- what a vacation! I did go there to work, but I was able to stay the weekend and see friends, get burned by the surprisingly strong Sun, skate along the beach -- and swim in the sea!

Oh, it was wonderful: cold water that chilled but invigorated me, the waves that made me feel lighter then I am, sparking light on the send glued to my skin... and all the other nude hippies on the Mar Bella beach :)

On Friday, 2nd April me and Angel went to the concert of New Cool Collective (NCC!) in Paradiso.
They are a true "big band" -- there were at least 20 people on the stage at any time! Most of them blowing: trumpets, saxophones, trombones... And wild percussions! It was wonderful! I danced myself crazy!
New Cool Collective

On 1st of April we went to the Book Chicago improvisation comedy show: Upgrade or Die!, about communication technology. Very appropriate for the (RIPE) NCC company outing ;-)

Remebering Olivia: Two years are gone...

BecHa — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:14:00 GMT

It was Olivia's second "birthday" on the 17th January. For me, the whole time around the new-year's eve is full of very painful memories... in retrospect.

(link to the long story on her site - not for the overly sensitive readers!)

So I was supposed to do something for her anniversary. But, apart from being painful, it was also getting complicated! By now it was becoming a formality -- but for me it was something very personal! My parents stayed in Amsterdam longer specially for this occasion (and other reasons, but hey...). They were expecting me to do something. I could not even talk to them -- I hate to always have to act tough and in control and responsible, even when I am falling apart and need support. And of course, they could not talk to me. Nana tried, but it was a wrong moment, and too late anyway. I did not arrange anything with Camiel in advance -- it is still difficult for me to make agreements with him. I was not ready to make a final decision about what to do with Olivia's ashes. And the only person I could talk with was Angel (and my therapist). But even with him was getting more complicated, so I decided to not decide.

I asked Alisa: what shall we do for Olivia's second birthday? And she said: "We can go to Artis, she would like that. She would be just able to walk, and talk a little..". Wow! The fact Alisa knows that babies of two are able to walk and talk is amazing in itself! So, that's what we did: Alisa, Charlie, Angel and me, we went to Artis. And Olivia, in our hearts and minds. We went to the Japanese restaurant for dinner. It was a very nice day after all.

When I was looking at the butterflies in the zoo, I was thinking of her as one of them - such a short time on this earth, and still so beautiful and powerfully influencing so many lives...

Several people remembered, and sent me their thoughts and support. Thank you! And Bogdan brought flowers.

Another thing I did in her memory was to bring about 150 books for the library in the Lucas-Andreas hospital -- the one I associate with Olivia. I've called many times to arrange it; Alisa and me have put the stamp of the letter "O" in all the books; I took them there in 3 boxes, loaded in my "bakfiets"; and cried all the way there and all the way back. My idea was -- create a mini-memorial-library, and also help patients there by giving them books to read. // Unfortunately, two weeks later they called me to come and take the books back: the letters were too small for sick people to read. Ah well. It was a good intention. Now I have to wait for the Book Crossing event in April in Amsterdam.

Holidays season 2009

BecHa — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:34:00 GMT

Mama-kenka

(a word-play of Mama + Manekenka (female mannequin in Serbian))

Last Saturday was a fashion show by the designers from the Ship of Fools , Robi & Viktor. I wanted to buy the dress, but then I offered to help out by modeling, and got myself into an adventure -- 3 rehearsals; an amazing venue; a performance by beautiful, tallented, shining people; lots of known faces from 10 years ago - Friends of Azart; and 3 dresses! See ( photos)

Charlie is 4!

On 16th December Charlie turned 4! Such a big, smart, pretty boy! He has also finished with the day-care, and started getting used to the "real" school, where he will go in January. It's with pleasure and pride that I see him growing up, and we celebrated twice: once in day-care, and again in his father's house -- but I am also said to say good-bye to his friends and teachers, and the place where he was for one a a half years; place where he has spent almost more time then at home :(

Xmass dinner(s) with NCC

Yet again, at the end of the year we are basked in wealth and luxury from my employer -- borrels, parties, presents, dinners... Nice opportunity to catch-up and relax with colleagues, and to wear pretty, elegant or unusual clothes. Thank you!

Next celebrations: xmass-eve in Madrid, with Angel's family; school holidays with children, chilling-out at home, and New-Years-Eve in Amsterdam. Till the next year -- I wish everyone health and happiness!