I am following parenting training for few months now: "Gordon Method"
Parent Effectiveness Training
(here is the
main web site
).
I love it! It is in Dutch, so my Dutch is improving, and it is the exact way of learning "positive Dutch" that I have wished to do some years ago, but could not find a way; it is with a group of parents, and it helps to compare my own situation & "problems" with the problems of others, and to see that it is "normal" to have those, that everyone has the same (going to sleep // getting to school in time // getting dressed // eating together // fighting...).
The main benefits I got from the course by now are -- to be more relaxed and less demanding from children (and myself); to enjoy my time with children more; and to re-evaluate many many things about myself.
Another good thing is that I already learned a lot about it from other similar techniques:
As "democratic" parenting, this is already a big step for me, coming from the "autocratic" background, but there is the next step - respectful or reciprocal parenting, as in my favorite book
"Your Competent Child" by
Jesper Juul
It is also translated to:
Hrvatski / Srpski (Vase kompetentno d(ij)ete),
Dutch,
and
Spanish (
Los valores para la familia hoy &
Su hijo, una persona competente. Hacia los nuevos valores basicos de la familia).
Juul proposes that relationships are [based] "... on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child. Children are competent to express their feelings from birth, and they are eager to cooperate. It is parents who must work to listen to and learn from their children. When our children's behavior makes us feel less than valuable, then it is almost always because we are. That is, prior to a conflict, we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behavior, our good intentions into fruitful interaction."
Even the mainstream media pick up something from Gordon-like teaching:
article
The most recent lesson we had was about
"conflict resolution", and here is the funny video from TEDxAMS
(You Tube), and here is the view of the book:
GRRR by Aernoud Boudrez.
Still, this wise saying is true:
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
But, in practice, there is."
My next post will be more about practice (I hope).